Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

Friday, 17 May 2013

The Great Gatsby And Other Birthday Celebrations.

Today was Jonathan's 22nd birthday and - due to me not really bothering last year - I decided to go all out and make this year a great birthday. So I set a small plan in motion - photoshoot, dinner and a movie. And I'm glad to say it worked out! 

For dinner I made orange and maple glazed chicken with dressed salad leaves, followed by chocolate velvet cream pie - Jon's favourite pudding. It went down really well, which was a great thing for me because I have never made CVCP before and was a bit nervous about it. I have a few improvements for next time, but it's just minor tweaks thankfully. 

And so we come to the movie that we saw, which was The Great Gatsby, starring Carey Mulligan, Leonardo di Caprio and Tobey Maguire. It's based upon the novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald, and until now I had no idea it even existed - shows how much I know about America literature! It's set in 1922 and describes the life of Jay Gatsby (di Caprio), a self-made billionaire living a lie for the sake of the woman he loves. However, it all goes horrendously wrong and Gatsby ends up dead in his swimming pool as his true love leaves with her husband and daughter.

Leonardo is a terrific actor in this film, and manages to portray the complex facets of Gatsby exceptionally well. However, I found his accent troubling in that he seemed to morph between a British accent and an American accent. As a man who was raised in North Dakota and taught to be a gentleman by a fellow American, you would expect an American accent. That aside, his portrayal of Gatsby was definitely one worth watching - moody, brooding, yet somehow vulnerable and extremely loveable. You can easily see why he would dream big and aim even bigger, but also how the edifice of his lofty ambition could come crashing down around him.

To Daisy Buchanan (Carey Mulligan), his one true love, we therefore go. Carey is one of those actresses who one cannot really imagine playing a strong woman, but luckily this is not required in The Great Gatsby. Instead she plays a typical 1920s wife and mother who knows what she wants out of life but does not really have the wherewithal to go after her desires. She is a rather vapid, wan character who, whilst being in love with Gatsby, does not really have the inner strength to act upon her love for Gatsby. By not admitting to her love for him, she ultimately plays a part in his death at the hands of another woman's husband (Mr Buchanan has numerous mistresses).

And finally, we turn to Nick Carraway (Tobey Maguire). Tobey plays the rather unwilling accomplice of Gatsby and Buchanan and is instrumental in their reunion after 5 years apart. He arrives in America to sell bonds and ends up being the guest of Gatsby, as well as keeping his cousin's affair as discreet as possible. Unfortunately, his health deteriorates following the death of Gatsby and he ends up in a health facility, where he writes the story of his experiences.

The film as a whole was well written and well thought out, including the encapsulation of the roaring 20s. I was a little sceptical of the soundtrack, especially as it involved BeyoncĂ© and Jay-Z, among others, but it was a moderate success. Some songs such as Back to Black and New York (Alicia Keys) were not really relevant to the film or the era, but it was good to hear Rhapsody in Blue by George Gershwin, as that is really the 'iconic' piece of music from the 1920s. 

I also liked the fact that the costumes were the same as they were in the 1920s - flapper dresses, Art Deco head-dresses, low-heeled shoes and - of course - women dripping in jewellery. The men are dapper with sharp suits, pinstriped waistcoasts and some truly gorgeous cravats. If I'm honest, the costumes were my favourite part of the film (apart from the story) and I truly love it. 

So, essentially, go see the film - I'll be buying it on DVD and reading the book!

Saturday, 11 May 2013

I Thought This Was Over ...


Today I did something I never thought I would do. I walked into our kitchen, took out a knife, and sliced across the top of my left arm. I haven't self-harmed in over 5 years, and now it's back. After 5 years of battling demons, seeking counselling, taking anti-depressants and trying my damnedest to make things better, I'm right back where I started. Ironic, huh?

Would you believe that it's all because I'm tired? Not just mentally, but emotionally and physically too. I've had stress before - everyone has - but nothing like this, not for a long time. Last time it was this bad I sliced my body with razors and stole alcohol from my parents so I could get drunk every day. Stella Artois, Bailey's, wine, gin, vodka ... anything that was in the alcohol cupbard went into my mouth. Eventually my parents wised up and removed it, but all that meant was that I sliced myself sober.

So now it's back, and for once I don't know how to deal with it. All my previous methods are closed to me, apart from the knife drawer, and I can't use that because I'm sure someone will notice - bloody knives in the dishwasher will draw attention. So what to do?

Well ... I don't know. Ciao xxx

Monday, 6 May 2013

After The Party Ends ...





As you can see, the birthday went amazingly well - not just because I had a fabulous time with some great people but because several great things happened.

1) I got up and danced without the aid of alcohol - normally I need a few wines before I dance, but this time I was dancing sober! I enjoyed myself immensely and dancing to Indian music is absolutely brilliant - so, so energetic and a tremendous workout. Honestly, if you click the link at the bottom of this page you'll find two videos from that night that really capture the feel of the night.

2) My sister-in-law and I managed to get on! I am not kidding, it was so surreal because when we arrived I had no idea that she would be there - so of course when she walked in I promptly went cold and nearly panicked - but we had a couple of chats and she even let me hug her twice (I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?) which was lovely. I'm hoping that this will continue and that we will become friends, or at least civil.

3) I realised that even though my family's pretty crap, Jonathan has a tremendous family and they are the best people I could ever meet. They are so full of energy, so full of vitality and so warm and welcoming that it's almost as if I've walked in from the cold into a room with a fire burning. I've included another link, which is a tribute I wrote to Jonathan's aunt, Farah, whose birthday we were celebrating. I hope you enjoy it.

To be honest, that was the best weekend away I've ever had. I've made some new friends, strengthened existing relationships and even been able to talk to Jon's family (with his siblings present) about how hard it is for me to deal with autism and how I made the tough decision to admit that not only is Jonathan my life partner and best friend, he is also my lifelong carer and will be termed that by the government. It's unfortunate, but that is the situation.

Ciao xxx

Links:
https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=440691912691712
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.440679136026323.1073741828.100002527211817&type=3
https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=440686442692259

http://www.booksie.com/non-fiction/miscellaneous/rowenya/a-truly-amazing-woman

Friday, 3 May 2013

Birthday Preparations ...

Well, this month is already quite busy, but life has to always add one more thing, doesn't it? Happily, this new thing is a birthday - I like those. Cake and fun times and seeing family is a recipe for great joy in the Briggs household, and since I am very nearly a Briggs, I figure that means I can be counted in too. Jon's aunt is celebrating her birthday this weekend and, to my shock and delight, she invited me too! Not many people invite me to their birthdays - seriously, I never went to birthdays as a child, apparently autism is palpable to everyone but the autistic person - so I had (and still have) no idea what to do. Do I mention her age? What jokes are allowed? How should I dress (she's a devout Muslim)? Should I take some hijabs with me just in case?

Hopefully the whole occasion will go off without a hitch - thankfully we've been asked to hold off on the presents, so I didn't have that stress (seriously, what do you buy for a woman who you've never met and is Muslim? What's haram and what's halal?), but we did get her a birthday card which I hope she'll like. It's not one of those corny ones, I have better taste than that, but it is a beautifully poetic one and has both our names on, so I hope she'll like it. Jonathan thinks I'm nuts for worrying so much, but he's never had the stress of meeting someone's relatives (the joys of having family in the North) at a funeral and then meeting them again over a year later. Ah well, it should go without a hitch.

In other news, I bought a new laptop - it's a Lenovo with a 17-inch screen and Windows 8. I can't understand why people don't like it - I mean sure it's a bit of an interesting set up but once you get used to it, it's fine. And the apps are awesome too - I have the Encyclopaedia Britannica at my fingertips and the Merriam-Webster dictionary, as well as the news, weather, stocks and other things that I usually use the Internet for. It even has Skype as standard! To be honest, I think the naysayers are just people who can't get to grips with a different way of doing things.

Jonathan and I are also counting down to the wedding - 3 months and 18 days!!! - and have also started trying for a baby. Now I know what you're thinking - how the hell are you going to combine a baby with postgraduate studies? - but fear not! All of the courses that I am applying for are 9 months - 1 year long, and some are part-time so I will have time for a baby. Also, given we are not going to start 'properly' trying (we're having to wait for my period to reset itself because I'm coming off the Pill) until July at the earliest, I won't give birth until April or so (assuming a 9-month pregnancy) so it's not as if I'll be caring for a baby and studying. And besides, if it really comes down to it I can always work part-time and hold off on studying for a while. It's not really a big deal.

Ciao xxx

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

University Is Over ... For Now ...

Well, once again I've had a stupidly busy month, but it's all been worth it, I promise! I've finally finished writing my dissertation and research project (all 20,000-odd words of them) and have been spending some time recuperating from a recent throat illness - ironic when I work as a telemarketer, but there you go! I should be back at work soon, which is awesome, and to be honest I think the time off has been good for me - despite being ill.

I've also managed to make steps in patching up my relationship with Jon's cousin Rosie, which is a huge relief! Thankfully, I've been a lot more patient than I usually am and I think that's helped - being open and honest is one thing, but patience also helps a great deal. Surprisingly, Rosie and I have been in similar situations, which has also taught me another valuable lesson: just because somebody looks like they have it all, it doesn't mean they really do have it all. Sometimes the prettiest faces hide the darkest pasts, and I suppose it took me seeing that in someone close to me for me to realise it.

Other than university, I've not really been up to much other than cooking and baking - I made vast quantities of vegetable shepherd's pie, so we've been eating that - and starting some new projects. One of them, which I'm quite enjoying, is sewing a portrait of some anemones - basically it's a sewing kit that comes with the outline already drawn on and I just sew in the relevant colours. It's teaching me different stitches, such as satin stitch, too - always a good thing! My other two projects are to fill a sketchbook with drawings, and to write an academic paper about Islam and Christianity, looking at whether they are truly different or whether they are, in fact, more similar than we first thought. It will be very fun to research and write, and I can't wait to get started!

I also start my counselling preparatory courses next week (1st May) and I'm really really looking forward to it. Counselling is something I would love to do and these preparatory courses are just one step on that ladder to success. Who knows - in a few years I might be a fully qualified counsellor with my own practice! That's the dream, anyway.

Ciao for now x

Friday, 22 March 2013

Oh My Gosh, I Forgot To Update!

OK first and foremost, I am so sorry for not updating - not gonna lie, I totally forgot this blog even existed! I have been stupidly busy with university, postgraduate applications and all sorts. So here is my update of the last two months!

February.
Well we had the first World Hijab Day on 1st Feb, which was amazing for a number of reasons. Firstly, I took on a challenge to wear a hijab for a month (www.booksie.com/non-fiction/novel/rowenya/my-hijab-and-i and http://www.amazon.co.uk/My-Hijab-And-Jessica-Rhodes/dp/1482635658/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363982762&sr=8-1) and then, after a lot of soul-searching, I decided to read the Quran and, on World Hijab Day, I converted to Islam. I have now been a Muslim for 1 month and 3 weeks, and I can honestly say that while it is hard, it was definitely the right decision.

I'm a lot happier now that I am a Muslim - I'm calmer, I argue less and I think before I speak. I no longer argue over petty things, and I try not to get angry over stupid things like someone leaving a light on. Whilst my family are not 100% happy with my decision, they accept it and that is all I can ask for. After all, it is a big change for everybody and it will take time for everyone to come round to it.

I will admit, converting to Islam has not been without its trials, but I am very lucky to have an extremely supportive fiancé, wonderful parents-in-law and a tremendous network of Muslim brothers and sisters who have been more than happy to answer my questions - even some of the daft ones! It's also made me realise that Islam is not this extremist religion that brainwashes people - it's actually a peaceful religion that has been warped by a minority of Muslim extremists and the media's portrayal of that minority. Because of the portrayal that Muslims receive in the media, people have tarred everyone with the same brush and unfortunately it has led to lots of people being misinformed.

I then spent the rest of February doing various interviews for the BBC, Ahlulbayt TV (Sky 842, Muslim channel) and had a lovely time. It felt great to get my side of the story across, put my views across and try and let people know that Islam is not this awful monster that it's made out to be. I even made it onto "World Have Your Say" with the BBC, which was pretty surreal! I remember my phrase throughout the whole interview process was "Things like this don't happen to people like me", but I am so glad it did.

Other than that, I didn't really get up to much in February. I managed to get my dissertation up to 10,000-odd words which is great, but I'm loath to do anything more to it in case I muck up my contents page or end up completely warping the whole thing. To be honest, I'm happy with it as it is, so I'll probably leave it as it is.

March.
March has been pretty much as busy as February! I recently got my second job and now work for a company called Insight Charity Fundraising as a telesales consultant and I absolutely love it! You do get some people who are absolutely horrible, and I've been sworn at already, but I made 8 sales on my second day and I'm pretty proud of it. I do need to work on my technique - my version of conversation is painful to say the least! - but that will come with time. I started this week on £6.25 per hour and next week everyone on my training course gets a pay rise to £6.50 per hour, which is pretty good! Given I'm hoping to work 16.5 hours a week, that's substantial pay and will help Jonathan and I save up for a deposit on our flat.

Yes, that's right, Jonathan and I are still together and we gave notice of our intention to marry on the 21st March! It was really fun because we had to play a version of All Star Mr&Mrs (minus the prize) and answer questions about each other, but it was worth it. We'll get the certificates allowing us to marry in early April, which is pretty awesome! We've also had our second engagement anniversary and have had a slew of good news lately - one of my friends got married on 16th March and another of my friends is getting married on 25th May!!!

I also managed to finally get my research project off the ground, and finished up the practical element on the 20th March, which is great. I now just have to write it all up and analyse the heck out of it. I also have a couple of wedding-related appointments next week - 26th March I have an appointment with my hair stylist to talk wedding hair, and on 27th March I have to see a dressmaker to see if she can make my dress any bigger. 

The reason I need it to be bigger is because I was fitted for it when I weighed about 7 stone 10, and then the shop closed down due to going bust. So now I've been left with a dress that's too small and I need to either get it let out or buy a whole new one, which I'm not looking forward to one bit! Still, I'd rather have a dress that fits than be a walking skeleton on my big day. Plus, if I do end up buying a new one, I can buy one that has sleeves on so that it's modest and still looks pretty.

Jonathan and I also have a meeting on the 27th about our adoption proceedings, which we've kicked off. Of course it will take a number of years, but it will be worth it to bring our child home and give them a loving home. I'm also looking to start a postgraduate course in counselling in September and have enrolled on some pre-postgraduate courses so that I've got at least a basic knowledge of counselling before I plunge into it. 

So, all in all, my life is pretty amazing right now. Of course you get a few people like my ex who want to make my life miserable (he keeps going on about his 'amazing' sex life and date nights with his girlfriend, but I doubt it's that amazing since he admitted to cheating on her with his ex girlfriend - not me, thankfully!) but they're just the toads you have to walk through on the path of life. 

Ciao for now and I promise to update more often now!

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Walking In A Winter Wonderland ...





















These are just some of the 200-odd photos that I took!!! Snow really is that rare in my life - I think it's snowed 3 times that I can remember, and it's just so amazing to see that I want to keep the memories of it forever. I remember when my friend Widyan came over from Australia in 2010 and started squealing the minute she saw snow ... it made me laugh but it also made me realise how magical snow is to those who don't see it very often.

Ciao for now my gorgeous readers, I will be back soon xxx